I hear the kids in the back yard, playing. I put a light blanket over her and sit on the edge of the bed. Emotionally she’s bleeding, she needs to rest. A sob escapes from her lips, her eyes are red, her arms feel tense and her hands are clasped together. ‘Claire, rest, relax. We’ll take care of the kids. They’ll be fine.’ Softly I hum a song and observer the medication taking effect. In a few minutes, she’s asleep. I sit with her a while longer, then close the door as I leave the room. I find Sara outside with Gene, she’s holding the two babies, and I take Andrew from her arms. ‘She’ll sleep through the night. The rest will do her good.’ ‘What are your plans?’ Gene asks. ‘To stay through tomorrow and leave the following morning, New Years Day.’ ‘You’re welcome to stay longer if you need. She didn’t need this kind of a Christmas present.’ ‘You know, I’ve seen a lot of misery through the hospital, but this woman, this family, have suffered so much. When will it end?’ ‘She needs a. My eyes open, quickly remembering where I am at. I jump up and look at the clock. A few hours left to go. My heart again begins to race just wondering how this surprise would go. Would we hug? Kiss? Touch? This surprise could be a huge disappointment or an intense meeting. What if he doesn’t like me? What if he doesn’t think I am pretty enough for him? What if I myself am a disappointment to him? I guess if this surprise was disappointing, we’d both return to our homes and move on with our lives. Intensity could mean so much different. Intensity could complicate things, in the fact that Michael is married and we met in an erotic chat room. I undress and head to the shower. The feeling of hot water run over my body, relaxes me. I stand there for a very long time as so many emotions run through me. Thinking to myself, ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ ‘Will he like me?’ ‘Should I leave now and go home?’ ‘Was this a mistake’ ‘Maybe this whole relationship is just fantasy’ ‘Fantasy from.
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