While we did we watched Paulus and the other slaves finish with the food for Domina and Dominus. They feasted on roasted chicken and boar with plates full of cheeses and hams.While our masters ate and drank, Laixa and I stood behind them. We didn’t speak if not spoken to but we listened, and what we heard made our bodies hot with excitement.Domina slowly chewed on a grape and then said, “Have you spoken to Romolus?”“Yes, my dear. The Nubian will be here as promised.”“Is it true what they say?”Domino chuckled and kissed his wife’s cheek. “If you mean that he has a giant cock, yes it is. They say few women can take him and those who can have a problem walking afterwards.”“Dear Jupiter, that must be some cock on him.” She turned to me and said, “Adelina, would you take such a cock in your young flower?”“I...I... don’t know, Domina.”“What about you Laixa, do you think you could take him?”“I would do anything that pleases you and Dominus.”She giggled. “We’ll see who gets the pleasure of. Now, I found myself once again caught out in the middle of a raging ongoing conflict I'd been having with myself. Mentally, I was absolutely certain that Anita and I could never be together, not in any permanent, romantic, sense. Emotionally, for whatever reason, I found myself unable to completely let her go. This conflict was wearing on me. I had been having it for more than a year already, and seemed no closer to resolving it then I ever had been.I knew this was a self contained conflict. I was battling with myself, and, with some of my recent decisions, like allowing her to come back to the farm, I was stacking the deck against myself. Realizing this, I felt ashamed of myself, because of the glaring lack of maturity and self control this decision had exposed in me. I knew I had too many people depending on me to be able to indulge myself like I had been doing.This thing with Anita was over. I had to just accept that it was, and then move on. Anything less than that would put in.
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