It's all I think about. When I have sex, it is always in highheels now too. There's just no taking them off in my world. I thinkI'm going insane, like really insane. I can't stop thinking about sex,being desired, being dirty, that fantasy that guys have. The sluttypinup who a guy can actually fuck. I'm attainable, so willing to giveit up. Why? Why am I so easy? I like to think of myself as a sexualbeing, on an even playing field with a man. I like sex so I have it.Is there anything deeper? Am I not good enough looking? Am I trying tofill a void caused by my own narcissism?Let me take stock. I am 26 years old, 5'9" tall and weigh 140 pounds.My (wigged) hair is auburn and works with my dark eyes and skin verywell. I have a very pretty face that is even prettier when I smile. Myshoulders are medium, neither broad nor slight. I have very littleAdam's Apple at all, which is good. My nose is good too, with a slight,feminine upturn and my cheekbones are high and can be. Russell wasn't my first time," Jane said. "—I mean, it was my first time, but it... wasn't. It wasn't like first times are supposed to be like." I dunno," Meredith said. Brandon's arm curled around her waist in a lazy loop. "First times can be overrated. Generally they aren't half as good as porn stories and romance novels and things make them out to be." I wouldn't know," said Jane. "But I'm pretty sure that, even for a real one, being thrown over a desk and taken is still a pretty bad deal. Isn't your partner supposed to be nice to you, at least?" Yes," Christa said, ending the debate."So..." said Jane. "I asked Jeff to help me with a real first time. And... He did."There was a short silence as they digested this idea."So... You fucked Russell," Brandon said, "and then you made love with Jeff."Jane considered this statement. "Yeah," she said. She liked the sound of it, the clear verbal differences in what was, after all, essentially the same physical act. "Yeah." So," Derek said..
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