Startled, you glance over at her and see it in her eyes too, that realization of loss.The tension lifts, but it's because, still in love, you two are now moving the relationship into endgame, arranging for this unforeseen closure in order to preserve the affection and friendship.Still in silence, the two of you efficiently finish dining, pay for the meal, make your goodbyes to those still there, and then walk out, hand in hand.Once outside, you shift yourself back to your normal female form. She keeps her female shape, and you feel her relax somewhat, but now both are groping for the meaning of it.It's not her fault: it's inherent.Only then do you see that realizing her fond memories of making love to a man would rudely violate her year of manhood, coming so soon upon it. It would be a rape all the more intimate because she did it to herself.It's not your fault either. You did not come here to help her abuse herself; neither of you did. It is an artifact of life and change, something. They were fondly referred to as the "Gang of Four". After their last football match as the walked back to the locker-room,they made a pact "All for One and one fall all". Ricky, Jim, Paul and Miguel, they promised to look after each others interests and keep the Team Spirit alive. *********** Although Leslie had been a single mother all her parenting life, she wasfinding things rather difficult since her only child Ricky left home. She wouldn't ever admit to it but the loneliness was getting to her, the transition from having a handy son around the house to spending endless lonely hours everyday hadn't been an easy one for her. To fill those hours though she had sought the comfort of younger men, whose youthful energy she often used to obliterate her wanton desire for sexual gratification. That was part of the reason her son moved out six months before he joined up and subsequently got posted to Iraq. She often wondered if he didn't just join up in order to escape her andher "slutty.
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