Without the music constantlydriving my thoughts, I was able to see the changes that Kyle had made. Iknew what was going on, but did I really care anymore? My life was somuch easier now! I didn't have to think about hard things and I couldjust focus on looking pretty and making boys happy. Life was fun now!I finished up trying on my new clothes and picked out a cute little lacypink bra with matching panties, my denim skirt with bedazzled jewels onit and a t-shirt that said "girl power" on it. I redid my makeup in ayounger, cuter style and went back out to the living room where Kyle wassitting in his boxers already looking smug. "So a couple of the guys saidthey'll come over at 6. I just talked to one of them on the phone andpromised them a good time and told them you've been practicing with adildo but have never been with a real man before." I knew that was wrong.I'd been with guys before, but the memories seemed so far away, like ahalf-remembered dream. I sure felt as nervous and. Thanks."Auf Deutsch (quasi woertlich uebersetzt):"Nimm dir die Freiheit und reiche die Geschichte herum, speichere sie, schicke sie weiter ... Bitte aendere sie aber nicht, und verlange fuer sie auch kein Geld. Danke."Warum?======Warum habe ich diese Gedanken und Wuensche? Sie passen nicht zu dem Verhalten, das andere von mir erwarten. "Wie eine Schwuchtel! Fuer dich muss man sich schaemen! Ich mag mich mit dir gar nicht mehr sehen lassen. Wofuer habe ich das verdient, so einen Perversling als Sohn zu bekommen?"Tut weh, tut sehr weh. Sie ist doch meine Mutter. Wenn ich so was von anderen hoere, dann geht's ja noch. Wenn ich von anderen gestupst, gestossen oder getreten werde, dann werde ich total passiv. Dann lass ich einfach alles ueber mich ergehen. In so einem Moment bin ich dann nicht mehr ich selbst. Es kommt mir vor, als stuende ich neben mir. Ich sehe bzw. fuehle mich am Boden zusammengekauert liegen, doch die Tritte spuere ich nur ganz dumpf.Irgendwann merke ich dann, dass.
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