’ She hoped it wouldn’t be too soon though, she needed a bit to get over this latest embarrassment. Outside the building, she breathed deeply in the warm Indian summer air, filled with the scent of dry leaves and the sound of people laughing as they enjoyed the last of the good weather. Sometimes Rose thought Michael was being friendly towards her because he felt sorry for her, because she had been picked on so much in high school. She was an easy target – a shy and sensitive fat girl. She’d like to have blamed it all on the fact that she was fat but a friend who was bigger than her had been very popular. The difference, Rose suspected, was that her friend acted happy and jovial while Rose felt rather angry and bitter. She recalled once standing in the kitchen at home as a teenager, her back against the fridge, crying disconsolately because she was sure she was going to be a virgin for the rest of her life, probably never even get kissed. Her mother couldn’t understand. ‘You’d be. Whether or not he's older or younger than me is irrelevant. So long as he has a penis that can do the job, then I am all for his attentions. He would order me a drink, we would talk for a little while and then he would take me outside, to the cool air of the late night. The fantasy here goes one of two ways. Either we fuck behind the building, in the dark alleyway, where all the trash cans are and most likely, discarded needles from drug users, or we get a taxi and fumble around in the back of vehicle until we get to his house. I prefer the alleyway option. It seems more appropriate to my fantasy of being fucked hard and fast. No romanticism about it. Put it in me and let's go. Fuck me with all you've got. Thrust and fill. In my head I imagine that alleyway and the feeling of the brick wall underneath my skin, as the man fumbles with my dress and panties, pushing me up against the back wall of the club, hastily unzipping his pants and then doing me. That wall and the man fucking me.
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