He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers. Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay. “What the heck are you doing Mick?” says Paddy. “Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking. " That I will sister," I said, "If I've a robe?" Well there a nice deep black with moleskin lining here," Sister Emmanuel explained, "They say it's lovely and soft on the cock." What?" I asked."It's second hand, father O'Grady died in it," Sister Emmanuel explained, "But it's hardly worn and the moth holes is hardly noticeable." Someone shot father O'Grady?" I asked."No moth holes," she repeated slowly."I suppose," I said."You'll wear a shirt with it and a clerical collar and a hat and shoes and these." Sister Pious added and she showed me the bottoms or trouser legs that had belts to fit above my knees, "So it seems you've the trousers on. oh and this," she said, "The weight," and she handed me something I can only say was like a Scotsman's sporran, but weighed several pounds "To hold your cock down if you need it," she explained.I put my shirt on and the trouser bottoms and my shoes and socks and finally the robe."You forgot the weight," Sister Pious explained."I shan't need it," I.
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