John wasn't home.Good God, I thought, I shouldn't have done this when I was alone. But who could have known how easy it would be to find or what effect it would have on me?It was so real... staring at me, accusing me, threatening me... "Turn over, young lady! I'll show you who's in charge around here!" I tried to force the thought out of my mind, but it wouldn't leave. Even the physical memory was still fresh. I could feel the damn thing hitting me.It took a while to try to deal with the emotional impact. I sat down on the couch and let myself cry, hugging a throw-pillow, biting the edge to keep from making too much noise, not that anyone would hear me.I didn't want her to hear me scream. If she could hear me scream, or cry or sob, she would know how thoroughly she had gotten to me.Of course, Mom lives half a continent away. There was no way she would know. But I still had this feeling that she was watching me with some self-satisfied smirk on her face.Eventually, I couldn't help it.. "I should definitely go see him. I mean, the only other decent guy around is Dad, and you know how he reacts when any of us try anything." Well, they let us join the parties," Gina said."Not since last year," Leah said, "when Dad almost screwed me during that party game. I practically came on the spot when I felt him sliding into me. But then he stopped when he realized he'd made a mistake."Chris winced. He'd hoped that Leah hadn't noticed, but clearly she had. And wasn't upset by it, which almost made it worse... "You could've partied with Erin and Sean... ," Gina said."Sean bugs the crap outta me," Leah said. "But he got drunk and passed out one night, so Erin fooled around with Paul and me. That was fun. But Paul wouldn't screw her, even though she wanted him to. He gave some lame excuse, but wouldn't do it." He's so straitlaced sometimes." Gina chuckled. "But he's still my goof." Your goof?" Leah protested. "Whaddya mean 'your goof'? You dumped him. Besides, what about.
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