I will not come in from outside,and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.10. I will not sit in the middle of the livingroom, and lick my crotch11. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’,so when I play with him and he makes that noise,it’s usually not a good thing.P.S. Dear God:When I get to Heaven,may I have my testicles back?Some Random Thoughts... Someone Just Honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.So I was at the bar last night and the Waitress Screamed... “Anyone know CPR?”I said, “Hell I know the entire alphabet.”Everyone laughed... Well everyone except this one guy!Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up too!Unless you are in prison!From a friend of J & G.Three pilots “flew west” on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. ‘In honor of the season’ Saint Peter said, ‘You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.’The Army helicopter pilot thumbed through his pockets. We pulled up to the flats and i saw this guy standing outside,he was huge,mid 6 footer and built like bulldozer,the first thing i thought was i was going to be mugged but he came over and greeted me in his african/english tone,he seemed a really nice fella,we chatted and he told me he had not been in England that long and just needed somewhere to sleep during the day as he worked nights,i thought he was a doorman but i didn`t ask,he paid 3 months up front and moved straight in.Dedryk was a model tennant,never caused trouble never paid late and kept the flat in top condition,when Dedryks laptop broke i lent him one of mine to use as it had a good webcam and he wanted to keep in touch with his family back home.One weekend i was away in London and Dedryk had tried video calling me on my works laptop but the picture was fuzzy and the sound broken so he rang my mobile to say the laptop had broken down on him and needed an administrators password,`the laptop was my wifes old one,i`ll get.
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