She was wearing a t-shirt and shorts as was I; the difference is she looked good in hers. We were having home-made lasagne and garlic bread and it smelled and looked delicious. I was starving from the long day and we dug in. We talked about our day, mostly mine, since she had stayed home as she was already registered and didn't need to attend any orientation. She told me stories of her week last year when a friend had tried to get her to join a sorority. She was glad she didn't with all the homework she had but the friend did and they didn't see much of each other anymore. She seemed pretty lonely by herself and I wondered why she didn't have a boyfriend but I was too shy to ask.We cleaned up the kitchen and I thanked her and left when she started getting nervous. I found a textbook and started reading it in advance to get ahead. After a bit I logged into the network and looked up the intramural hockey site to get some information on game times as well as open ice times to get some. Engaged with parent’s acquiescence on my seventeenth birthday, I gave my underage marriage consent, for security, to escape a dysfunctional family, because I didn't know how to say no. Engaged, he assumed control, ensured my virginity on the altar. A year later, we married, I just turned eighteen, he twenty-three. I’ve never known another man. Now twenty-five, I’m meeting my first real date. I’m being me, at last. Conversing with myself between stoplights, I rewrote my personal history to justify meeting a man, not my husband.Approaching Michael’s restaurant in Sunnyvale, our meeting place, however, my rationalized confidence dissipated, replaced with timid reality.I’m risking my marriage, family, my world. I should go home. I knew I wouldn't. I was adrift, on remote, led by a yearning set loose, something long-repressed, now free. I didn't know where or how it would end. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. I just went heart forward.Familiar with the restaurant from driving past, I’d.
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