It was apparent this had hurt him even more and I felt like a royal bitch. Quietly but sternly he told me such a thing had never crossed his mind. He strolled over to the window, crossed his arms, and bent his head. I walked up behind him and placed my head on his shoulder. With tears forming in my eyes, I softly murmured, I just want what’s best for you. He pulled me under his arm, stroked my hair and said, I know. I pulled myself closer to him and buried my head into his broad chest. I tried my best to refrain but eventually I couldn’t hold back anymore. My eyes moistened and I began sniffling fiercely. He felt my body shaking and felt my salty tears on his chest. He lifted my chin with his finger and asked what was wrong. I told him how hard it would be for me to depart and how I hadn’t meant to hurt him. He told me he knew and that leaving would be hard for him also. After I had calmed down a bit, he picked me up. Might as well have a proper farewell, he said as he laid me across. . HEDONISTIC GIRLWe seek ourselves in metaphors,Never knowing who or what we areUntil we learn who and what we are not,And, bereft of the opposite sex,I wonder as I wander, seeking, on my quest,A mirror to mirror my true soul,A fountain of the deep that is deeper yetThan the soul I keep, a looking-glassThat does not look upon a topsy-turvyWorld of white rabbits and caterpillars,But it is too much, I think, to ask,And I simplify, hearing, smelling, tasting,Touching, blind to the rest of me,Insensible to revelation, sightless to epiphany,My only metaphor the perceptionOf sensations that defines the hedonistic girl.SCREAMINGFire streams along the nervesSo hot it freezes me,And I become erect,Gathering myselfInto my nipples and my cock,Intensely aware of my breasts,Of my manhood,And of the extreme unctionOf the fused dichotomyOf my forbidden sexuality;I confess, tears hot upon my face,Pleading, praying, to be seenAs much as forgiven,And God sends fire through me,So hot it freezes meAnd I.
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