He?s still a little kid,? Dennis said, closing, rather than slamming the backdoor shut. ?It sounds to me as if there?s somebody else who could use a nap,? shesaid, putting the lid over the frying pan. ?No. I?m just sad,? he said, getting up on one of the kitchen chairs. ?Sad? My little Dennis? What could take the wind out of your sails?? sheasked, checking the big pot cooking on a back burner. ?Mom, do there have to be boys and girls?? Dennis asked, careful to keephis elbows off of the table top. ?Yes, I?ve told you at least a dozen times before, there has to be?Margarets?.? She stirred that pot, too. ?You even said you used to be like Margaret. Almost.? ? ?Almost?,? Alice smiled to herself. ?It must be okay to be a ?Margaret?, then.? ?What?? his mom finally looked around, replacing the lid on the pot. ?You?re the best mom there is. Being a ?Margaret? helped you, right?? ?Is that what?s got you wound down?? his mom said, a hand and a wrist (ofthe hand with the stirring spoon) on her. Itwas no longer about what I was doing, but what was being done to me.These are classic symptoms of depression or the blues.As I sat there waiting for the kettle to boil, Sarah came into thekitchen."John, you know that when you dress as a girl, you need to have a newname. We can't go round calling you John. I think it would beempowering for you, on becoming a girl, to choose your own name."A normal guy, determined to hold on to his masculinity, who found himselfdressed like me might have noticed how Sarah had stated "When you dressas a girl" where such a guy might have said "If you dress as a girl." Hemight also have said that he would not be becoming a girl and it wouldnot be empowering for him to choose a girl's name for himself.But as I have already indicated, I was depressed and was pretty muchresigned to the inevitability of my feminisation so these thoughts didn'toccur to me.And besides, what would a normal man be doing dressed like I was, anyway?I found myself clearing up.
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