I could not find you, or Jewels. By then all I wanted was your forgiveness. It’s funny how life is. Once I accepted my responsibility for the harm I had done, and try to make it right, the cancer hit me. Know that I wanted to be there tell you these things but couldn’t. In my last weeks of life, I found Jewels. I gave her these letters in the hope that one day she would find you. Jewels had nothing to do with our plans. We didn’t trust her due to her feelings for you, we knew if she had any idea of what our plans were she would have warned you of them. Jewels actions to you were love and friendship nothing more. I love Sara, I only wish I had realized the second she was born, and shown her that love every day. I left her everything in my will, with a small portion to be used in finding you.Robert I hope in some way that you will find forgiveness for me, my actions themselves are unforgivable but I’m no longer the person who would commit such actions. With my greatest regrets:. She put Brian in the guestroom and she was going to crash on the sofa. I had a bottle of Grey Goose in the freezer. We started doing shots. As Jill says, the Grey Goose loosened her tongue and it loosened my inhibitions. Jill told me her life story and I listened. By the time she was done dumping on me I was drunk enough to make a pass at her and she was drunk enough to catch it. It came as a shock to her that I was a lesbian, and an even bigger shock that she was bisexual. She hadn’t suspected either.”“She was like me -- in denial about certain thoughts and feelings.”“Maybe. The next morning we performed a post-mortem on the night before, and we decided we liked what we did. Jill slept in my bed from that point forward. She and Brian lived with me for six months. Then, Kenny got dumped by his mistress and came crawling back, begging Jill for another chance. She and Brian moved back to their house, but Jill and I would get together for trysts whenever we could manage. If Kenny was on.
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