Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. “Horrible,” he says. “They’re always yelling and screaming. I hate how they constantly pound on the walls and stomp the floors.”“How do you get by?” she asks.“I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes,” says the Scot.A man is on trial for cannibalism. He proclaims to the judge, “Well, your honor, if you truly are what you eat, then I am an innocent man.”I rang work and said, “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”The boss replied, “You have a wee cough?”I said,. An unintentional moan escaped as Shelly's fingers finally touched her clit. She was absolutely soaked. As she slowly circled two fingers around her pussy, she heard the slurping sounds of her juices. Automatically, she thrust her pussy against her fingers, her eyes closed in pleasure. She slid her hand further inside her panties. As the tips of fingers and then the top of her palm slipped wetly over her clit, she sunk two fingers as deep as she could into her itching slit. She was having extreme difficulty remaining quiet as she stroked herself, her fingers soaking wet with her juices. The pleasure was incredible as she massaged her clit with her palm and wiggled her fingers inside her musky wet canal. She started to gently hump her pussy against her own manipulations and had to make a conscious effort to settle and calm down. Taking her fingers out of her needy slit, she slid one finger along her lips up to her clit and back down again, with only the tip of her finger between her.
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