" Shit, That's $100 in penalty fer a $25 loan at 40% interest. So, ifen I went two months without payin', I'd owe $145. Ain't no way I'll do that ifen I kin find the money any other way. By the way, where is this Mr. Anders from; I'll bet it ain't from around here." Well, Mr. Anders is from Boston an' has only been in the county fer 'bout 5 months. Why do ya ask?" I jus' figured that yer Mr. Anders had ta be a damyankee to gouge folks like that. Well, thanks for yer time. I jus' can't afford ta do business with y'all just now. Good bye."I didn't hang around talking any more with Joseph Smith, because something didn't seem right to me. I couldn't put my finger on the problem, but I couldn't help the feeling that there was something screwy going on. I'd have to think about the situation and go from there. Meanwhile, I needed a beer.There was a saloon across the street, and I headed for that. As I crossed the street, I noticed that the 3 bodies had been removed. Well, at least the trash. His rectum positively ached and his butt felt swollen and sore. Then again, everything felt swollen and all of his joints ached. Absently Pyotr brushed his bangs out of his eyes. He made it onto his back and felt something missing; something was truly wrong.Pyotr lifted his head and stared straight down his body to his toes. He looked at his toes with great curiosity as if he had not seen them in a very long time. Something tickled his memory and traveled down his spine as he wiggled his pigglies to confirm that all was well at the other end. Then the realization struck him thunderously: he could actually see his toes, his long lost friends.The fat was gone; the bane of his life and his existence had melted away. He perched himself on his elbows to view the nigh ecclesiastical miracle. Even the skin was taut; none of that unsightly skin sag that accompanied the rapid loss of weight. Great was the gift of the gods!Then the last conscious event of his waking life slammed down upon all.
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