I cover my face with my hands. I want the world to end tonight. WhetherAmerica invades Iran and the Soviets respond by pouring tanks across theborder, or an asteroid lands smack in the middle of ICI Billingham it'sall the same to me.As long as I don't see another morning.Very slowly, as though every chemical reaction taking place in my muscleshas to be initiated separately, I raise my head from the pillow. In whatremains of the light I study the now familiar configurations of tinyfreckles peppering the skin between my elbows and the sleeves of my T-shirt, then watch the recurrent motion of my breasts as I take in air andexpel it.My freckles.My breasts.Not Ruth's.Mine.For as long as I continue to exist.I'm female, and I always will be.Why didn't you tell me, Suki? Did you think it was kinder to let mediscover the truth on my own?Or was it guilt that stilled your tongue?And what did you say to my mother? What pack of lies did she lose sleepover after she'd consigned her only child's. ” “That sounds perfect. Go fetch it, pet.” “Yes, Master.” I get up and grab the tray bringing it back to the bed. I place it between us and smile at him. Along with the breakfast I picked a single flower from garden. I climb back onto the bed and wait for him to find his card under his tray. We start our breakfast, and talk about what we’re going to do today. Finally he spots his card and looks at me with a smile. He picks it up and opens it; I’m sitting there biting my lip, like a nervous school girl. Dear Master, You've been the best thing to come into my life. You helped me realize that I’m worth more then what I thought of myself all those years ago. I felt as though I was nothing but an average no one. You brought me into your life and became my friend. You took me into your arms and kissed me, thus starting our stage of being girlfriend-boyfriend. The time we had together grew and blossomed into more than either of us could even comprehend. We didn't run from something.
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