Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?” Later on the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!” The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!” He said, “Explain the kids!”A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!” Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into. The main exam season was starting; three to four weeks of a fairly heavy schedule for me. I wasn't delighted to be away from home this time.It was Monday morning of the last week of May that my phone vibrated in my pocket; as it was Helen calling, I indicated to my colleague I was leaving the room and she nodded that she understood."Ted," and I could hear an undertone of fear in her quiet voice, "I'm bleeding ... and my stomach hurts." Okay, sweetheart. Have you called 999?" Yes, and they're on the way. Ted ... I'm scared." Sure, sweetheart, but you're brave, and you're going to be okay. I'll be there as soon as I can." Ted ... the baby!" I know, sweetheart. Breathe deep and slow, and pray. I'll do the same, okay?"I rang Information Processing and was put through to Linda. There was no hesitation in her voice. "Hand over to Jen, get yourself gone, and there'll be someone up there in five minutes. Tell Jen that, okay? And, Ted, I really hope it's okay for you both." Thanks, Linda, I.
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