I was playing with the combat knife and the throwing knife. The combat knife slipped out of my hand and cut my arm. It was painful, but it with the pain came a clarity that I never had since the day the Marine’s came to the door telling my mother that my father was dead. I cleaned up the mess and bandaged my arm. I took the two knives with me and put the Swiss Army knife back and made it look like I had never been in the room. I wore long sleeve shirts for the next two weeks to cover up the bandages. No one ever knew, but I did. I didn’t cut myself on purpose until about two months later. A kid in one of my classes kept staring at me. After class, I finally approached him and told him to shove off. The kid made a snide remark about how he could do what he wanted. Then he said something I would never forget. It was the first time someone ever made a cruel remark about the military or my family. He said, ‘Why should I listen to you? Your daddy ran off and got himself killed. You don’t. ”“Is that a good or bad thing?” I asked trying to delve deeper for a secret meaning.“Not good,” she said, “He was home for the first time in five days and all we wanted to do was watch hockey.” She paused and then stressed “Hockey.”“Well you know men, they have very limited interests. Sex, food and sports.”“Well he only seems to have two,” she said frustrated.Later, at the end of day she came in to my room all flushed and said, “I got flowers sent to me.” She looked at me all freaked out, “At work.”I had sent the flowers so playing dumb I said, “Well that is romantic. At least he is trying.”“They are not from him,” she said perturbed and handed me a card.Lovely Gwen, You are a beautiful woman. You deserve only the best. Lovingly, A secret admirer...P.S.-That gold dress looked amazing on you.“Oh,” I said, “Who could it be from?”“I don’t know,” she said, “Could it be someone from the club?”“Who?” I asked.“I don’t know,” she said.“I wouldn’t worry about it. Just enjoy them,” I.
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