Poo on seat.4. Poo and toilet paper in bowl, Unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.5. No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet.Clearly, it had to be stall #2. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly shameful shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but big things were afoot.I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next-door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 DB louder than it needed to be.Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the shitty day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day. But I. But he'd lost it back to her when she'd managed for the first time to place her ball inside his on the green, though they were close enough in distance to force him to actually measure, which he had done twice until relenting, giving in that Jill's was easily a good three inches closer to the hole than his was. His only hope now was to make his put, and hope that Jill missed hers. It was a relatively easy looking put however, up hill and reasonably straight. Less than five feet away, there was a damn good chance she would make it, thus foiling his fantasy of finally getting to fuck someone on a golf course.And worse, he had to go first as he was out, and worse still, he had to approach the hole from above, which meant that he'd have to have just the right speed on the ball, or it would no doubt trail off to the right and well beyond it. Jack was finally nervous and really worried for the first time all day.He studied the line of the ball from all sides, finally standing to practice.
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