Throughout these traumatic times Bob and she had shared some of the greatest sex imaginable, including an anal rape, which was not great at least for her, and her becoming pregnant. That was the carnal aspect of their adventure. Looking back now, she saw there was a lot more to what had been happening than just sex and her periodic embarrassment. She recognized, now, she’d been attracted to Bob even before her long ordeal had begun, but she considered herself too cool and him too staid for a serious relationship. She also knew Bob had been enamored of her early on, and he probably wanted to make something serious happen even before fortune intervened in his favor. However, since his emergence as the dominant person in her life, even though she knew, deep inside, he loved her, he kept behaving in odd, even contradictory ways. First he’d be all warm and cuddly, but then he’d shift into someone who could be mindlessly cruel, even vicious. He could be loving and caring one minute, and a. 2.My mom and I thought we would be out of Nebraska and that little apartment before the end of the six-month lease we signed the first September. But then we renewed the lease that February. We were making decent money here with the low living expenses and had nowhere else to really be, why not stay and keep saving so that we had a cushion? At that point I was twenty-one and she was forty-one.When we had first moved in, everything was a blur. Once we were settled we never talked much besides quick updates about work and the living situation or deciding who would go shopping. After some time it became clear that we were holding back our emotions, refusing to talk about our anger at my dad, refusing to talk about the grief of his death and his confusion.We tried to deal with this and there were bursts of sobbing, of manic pacing and chattering, of calls during breaks at work when one of us would call the other and recall something about my dad that we now thought was suspect or had.
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