I tried to take my time to walk back to my apartment without looking like I was in a rush. A classmate stopped me to have a conversation as I was about to walk into the building and I swear he probably thought there was something wrong with me. He cut the conversation short and allowed me to go on my way. Once in the apartment building, no one really bothered to interrupt my half-jog to the apartment. Opening the door to hear nothing inside was so rewarding. I locked the door, just to be safe, and headed to my bedroom. That door was quickly locked as well. I knew no one was home, but the paranoia hadn't worn off. As soon as my bag hit the door I was grasping for a bag I kept far under my bed. The toys I had desperately wanted to play with were waiting for me. My pussy was quickly reminding me that it had been a long time since I last toyed with it. The wetness was causing the soft fabric to cling to my skin and I was subconsciously squeezing my legs together as I stood staring into. I said ?If you can,? and I told him I will wait for him. They strip-searched me both before and after the conjugal visit. They put both of us in a building that's less prison-like but I still knew it was a prison. It was scary, cold and unusually quiet, just like a prison. I don't think I will have time to visit him again before I go back to China. After that day I felt so terrible for my past sins. I ask the Lord for forgiveness and guidance because my heart is in constant agony. My soul is twisted like a rubber band by the devil who tortures me day and night. Sometimes I nearly faint from the pain, but the Lord giveth me strength. 8/28/2012 Every day Pastor only allow me a paltry portion to eat, cereals in the morning, salad for lunch and whatever that is at my plate for dinner and lots of daily exercise like cleaning, washing, cooking, and walking back and forth from work. I do not have money for bus and Pastor says gasoline is too expensive for him to drive me to work. .
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