Here are the winners:1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit.)11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really. By the time he arose, Marianne had already bathed, cleaned most of the downstairs rooms, done the washing and prepared her new husband a hot and appetizing breakfast.Seating himself at the table, Cornelius was served by the young girl who stood to the side as he considered the selection of foodstuffs before him."Marianne!" his voice barked. Instantly she stood before him, "there is a stain on this fork. I will not be served with stained silverware." ... Yes, my husband," she intoned taking the offending utensil, replacing it and again standing to the side."Do you really think your displeasing me will be let off so lightly? Fetch the riding crop."Returning with the crop she placed it in his hand."Arms over your head!" he ordered. Instantly she obeyed. "Well at least you know how to follow directions." Three times the crop lashed her tender breasts, Marianne wishing to cry out in pain, but knowing even more punishment would follow, constrained herself although she did gasp as leather.
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