I'm sorry for being so emotional. I didn't think your leaving would affect me this way. I pride myself on being strong, self-reliant, but right now I feel like I'm falling apart inside. Do you remember that old Teddy bear you had? "Mr. Fluffy" is what you called him. Do you remember I washed him once, just because you had carried him everywhere for years, and he was dirty and smelled bad? And because I put him in the washing machine a part of him ripped and some of the stuffing came out? You cried and cried and said, "Fix him, Mommy. Fix Mr. Fluffy!"? I had to sew him back together, remember? I feel like Mr. Fluffy right now, all soft and insubstantial inside.But I can't tell you that."I guess it's time to go," he said. He was looking at the tops of his sneakers, the way he did during awkward moments."Are you sure you packed everything? Do you have your allergy pills? Your eyedrops? Your--" I have them all, Mom." He rolled his eyes."You'll call, right? You'll call tonight and let me. I didn’t know for a long time if he was hanging around with me to get to Derek or hanging around with Derek to get to me.”“Your conclusion?”“Little bit of both. He lost a little brother when he was a kid. Sort of made Derek fill an empty spot. Me? I think he LIKES me...”“Dude’s gonna marry you. Liking you’s a big plus.” She patted the curve of her belly. “What about kids between you and him?”“Game-stopper, he says.”Her face fell. “No kids?”“Nope. Told me that if a prospective wife didn’t want kids, then she lost her ‘prospective’ status.”“So that’s part of the plan, then?”“Yep. Pretty far down the road, but definitely part of the plan.”Just then the thought occurred to me – just like talking with Cindy caused me to coalesce a bunch of thoughts, talking with Donna was doing the same thing.“What’s Derek say?”“Derek and I have talked about Aaron more than once. Derek says he’s big brother and dad, together, and this morning he said it was about time that I came to a realization of where.
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