Some 4 or 5 months passed off that way and then i got a chance when a relative of my husband expired and he had to go there for a few days . I didn’t go along due to my sons school and Amit too couldn’t miss his college , so we stayed back and let my husband go alone . I had 1 week in hand and i had to finish with whatever was to be done In the evening Amit returned from college , i told him i had severe stomach pain and needed to visit a doctor .He drove me and we visited a nearby clinic . I asked Amit to be with me all the time as the doctor was a male and new to me . He agreed and after a bit of wait we entered his cabin . Amit was with me and as routine the doctor asked me a few questions and asked me to lay down on his check up table . As i got up to go there i made a sign to Amit to come with me . The doctor too followed and asked me to raise up my kurta . I was wearing a salwar kurta and raised it , then the doctor put his hand and tried to get where the pain was .I said it. Der Himmel, die Strassen, die Stimmung. Typisch, Januarloch. Um wenigstens die knochendurchdringende Kälte loszuwerden, gehe ich duschen. Ich spüre wie sich die Muskeln langsam entspannen. Das Wasser ist immer sehr heiss, wenn ich dusche. Wie bei vielem, muss ich mich einfach spüren. Ich lebe spürbar auf unter dem Wasserstrahl. Erst rasiere ich mich überall sorgfältig. Dann werde ich immer übermütiger. Ich montiere den Duschkopf ab und führe den Schlauch in mein Fötzchen. Ich liebe es, so lange Wasser reinlaufen zu lassen, bis ich es kaum mehr halten kann, dann eine Weile warten und alles mit viel Druck rauspressen. Immer und immer wieder. Das macht Spass, erregt mich- mitten drin ein erwischt mich ein Gedanke. Wie war das mit dem Dilator? Eigentlich habe ich da zwar eine Höllen Angst vor. Das muss doch wehtun, sehr sogar. Und doch, es könnte ja geil sein. Ich habe da schon länger mit einem Edelstahl Dilatorenset geliebäugelt. Aber einfach kaufen, wenn man nicht weiss ob es wirklich.
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