You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. It can be a cry for help but for most it’s to help cope with emotional pain. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will also admit that it worked unfortunately. Like any other addiction, soon your normal ‘fix’ isn’t enough. You have to cut more or sometimes find something else to hurt yourself with to feel the same effects. It’s completely fucked up. I’m lucky in that I didn’t actually get that far. I did stop before it got too serious. I mean, I am aware that hurting. " You don't have to worry about those three gentlemen, Cherry andBambi." With a knowing smile, Maleena looked over at the elderlyand peacefully slumbering Pete, Jim, and Hank. "They'll be perfectlyall right just where they are for now." Okay. Then let's go party," chorused Cherry and Bambi gleefully.Without any further comment about or show of concern for their formerfriends, they bounded sexily out the door."Why don't the two of us play a little game tonight," said one of themas they left the room. "Whichever of us comes back with the cutestboy wins."*****Maleena yawned as she watched the early morning news on the televisionin their rented room. She'd never liked watching this particularmorning news program, but none of the other channels on the set wereworking. And this anchorperson, an overbearing young woman, seemedlike such a totally pretentious bitch.As her thoughts turned to the young man at the desk when they'dchecked into this place last night, Maleena couldn't keep.
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