Although harsh and demanding, he'd saved me from the brink, found my sanity, and I only ever let him down. It was my fault he was gone, dead from a car accident on his way to my house. I'd lost my mind all over again. I would keep punishing myself until either the guilt left me, or I collapsed in on myself like a magnetar – dead, but continuing to destroy everything that came too near.In my dream, I was in one of Damien's favorite positions: bent over his desk, legs spread wide with my ankles tied to the desk legs. My torso was stretched across the desk top and my arms were spread, wrists secured to the opposite desk legs. Head turned to the side, my cheek pressed against the cold desk top.I reflected on myself as I waited for Damien to return with his bag of implements. My anxiety ran high, not because I was nervous for my session with Damien, but because that was my normal state of mind. Crippling anxiety. That goddamn mental illness that had driven me to wild nights of binge. " Of course. They were both about me meeting you. Pretty normal ones though. One where we were having lunch and another where we were driving someplace in your car chatting."Matthew and I had been talking about meeting over the past couple of months, but for some reason over the past couple of days, I had begun to think about it more and more. I knew it was something I really wanted to make happen, and something that I definitely could make happen within the next couple of months."I must admit, I love the idea of you coming here to visit me, and would love to have a sex toy for a week or so." Yeah? I would like that too. I think I will be able to make it there in the next few months. Just need to think about logistics." Cool. Didn't think it would be that soon. I can't wait to fuck you, bent over my kitchen table." This was a fantasy that we had both talked about."Me too, but first I want to be on my knees in front of you while I suck your cock. I want to be covered in your cum." I.
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