It had been my pleading, my selfish need to see her again, which had led her to beg favors of her friends, finally getting a ride home to be with me.I cried with my head on my arms on the dining room table. I was aware that Kira stood next to me, holding my shoulders, softly stroking my arms. "Oh, Mom ... I'm sorry..."I had compartmentalized my memories of Jackie. It wasn't that I planned it. Thoughts of my sister were torn from me, everything about Jackie which reminded me of her loss wrapped tightly and buried. I think I was defending myself, refusing to deal with the grief. The more time passed, the less often I felt the memories trying to surface, to the point where I'd grown an opaque shell around those memories. My sister had been lost in my past. I forgot what we did, forgot how she'd taught me about myself and about intimacy. I hid from myself the fact that she'd even existed."No," I finally managed to squeak. "I'm sorry ... I ... I forgot about her ... I didn't want to. .”“Oh, the portal dropped the cases just where you see them, and ... I never intended pulling them through the forest loaded as they are. I rolled the fully loaded cases, one at a time, into the chamber area, and with some help, attached the skis, put cargo nets across the cases and hung all the extra supplies on the nets before adding the other things to the top. When all that was done, I covered everything with canvas. The only reason for using the canvas was so we could have it if we needed it later. It took a number of technicians and troops to move the cases into the chamber itself, all of them laughing their asses off while they were doing it, but they managed.“And just how in the hell are we going to...” But he stopped as her grin got bigger.“Just like ants; hump one manageable load at a time until everything is inside.”“And how many pairs of shoes did you bring?” he snarled sarcastically as he started untying the first tarp. Then, too quietly for her to hear, “Women. Hell, I.
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