I tried to meet her eyes, but she avoided my gaze. Connie wheeled the stretcher near the table, and smiled forcefully at Jill. “Could you please ask Moira to help us?” the doctor said. The nurse nodded and left. A minute later she returned, followed by another nurse. Jill was lifted up and her upper back was placed on the table. At the same time, Connie slipped something resembling a high stool under Jill’s posterior. The doctor pulled a padded bar from under the stool, and adjusted it so that it propped up the calf of her injured leg. Her right leg was pushed sideways, her foot rested on a low stool. “What are you going to do?” I asked worriedly. “Her femur is broken. She will be put in a cast,” Pratt said. I studied Jill’s face, waiting for her reaction. She just took a deep breath and sighed. “The good news is that the fracture is not displaced and there is no need of surgery,” the doctor added. “This makes me brimming with joy,” Jill said scornfully. “Very good! The joy. “No.”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the morning, giving me smiles and a kiss before heading off to class.I moped. I wandered the house at loose ends, the.
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