I read it entirely and lay there stunned. I had no memory of this. I had never had a homosexual thought in my life. Apparently I had also shared these feelings with Jake which is why he had invited me aboard! I stayed in my suite for most of the next few days desperately trying to remember any of the things in the diary. It said I had begun hormone treatments and had noticed a loss of strength. That would explain many of the things that happened on board. I felt like I was going crazy. Late one night, a little drunk on wine and still unsure if I was losing my mind, I opened a closet and pulled out a black satin night gown. I slipped it over my head and felt it fall down my body. It felt wonderful. I ran my hands down my stomach and thighs exhilarated by the feel of the soft fabric. There was a knock at the door. Without thinking, I opened it. Jake stood there. He smiled. "I came to see how you were doing. It looks like you're adjusting to your memories." I tried to. You're right; I guess it's not such a good idea. Oh well, I suppose I'll have to make my fortune some other way." Max, tell me something. Did you ever wear dresses when you were a little?uh?boy?" Well, have you ever heard of petticoat punishment?" Every petticoat I ever had to wear I considered punishment." Whenever I got in trouble for fighting my mom would subject me to petticoat punishment. She'd put me in one of my sister's frilly white lace party dresses, white tights and black Mary Janes and send me out to play where all the boys could see me and make fun of me. If my dad was still alive back then he would've put a stop to it." I see." The next day I'd be back in pants, but all the boys would still keep calling me Maxine, and I just got into fights again. So the next day I was forced back into dresses. It got to the point where the boys would beat me up every time I left the house wearing pants. Then I discovered that if I was wearing a really pretty, feminine dress, the boys.
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