My session with Dr. Wilson opened my mind. She said that she thought that my mother knows who my father is, because she is focusing her hate for him onto me. It makes little sense to me, but I trust Dr. Wilson.I was sad to part with Martina for the Christmas break. I really do believe there is a bond between us and we were meant to be together. There is an invisible connection between us that we can’t explain.Lorenzo is happy for his sister and me. He knows that Martina is using the ‘We’re not a couple’ phrase, but he knows that we are in love. Lorenzo’s father is happy that I promised to take care of Martina next year, which makes me sigh in relief knowing that I won’t disappear in an unmarked grave in the woods or fish bait. Yes, I watch too many gangster movies.I am running out of the park and across the street, when a car speeds around the corner. I jump so that the car won’t run me over as I slide across the hood, top of the car and land on the road as the car comes to a. I even considered suicide. But it was only a thought and I wasn't even close to it. Fortunately fate took a hand and I had a miscarriage. I hadn't told anyone other than the boy responsible, my parents weren't even aware of it.After that harrowing experience I refused to be fucked by any boy even if he insisted that there was no danger of pregnancy because he'd use contraceptives.Tommy even came back begging to lay me and he was the last person who would ever have had the chance. When I left school I got a job in an office because I knew how to type pretty fast. I was stuck in an office and they shoved all the work they could at me. My parents were always arguing about me wanting to know why I didn't go on a diet.When we were out in the car, my father had a habit of pressing down hard on the accelerator whenever he was mad - and I guess it did it once too often when he and Mum were out on the highway. I was home watching television when I got a call from the hospital telling me that.
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