Carrots, bananas, Asian eggplant, and cucumbers are my usual go-to natural toys of choice. Their existence is the reason I don’t own a dildo. And for those fruits and veggies that aren’t shaped like dicks—such as apples, watermelons, and mangoes—I slice them up and either toy myself with them or I just slide them inside of me and birth them out over and over.I’ve stuffed my hole with fresh leaves, flowers, roots, edible mushrooms, grapes, and even chestnuts that were still in their spiky husks.One time, after purchasing veggies at an Asian market, I went into the bathroom then I shoved the dirty white bulb end of Bok Choy into my vagina. I spent all day walking around with it stuffed in me until I got home. That’s when I masturbated with it before sautéing it up for dinner.I’ve masturbated with vines and even branches not covered in smooth moss.I’ve fucked myself with the soil-caked bulb at the bottom of a tulip that I dug up from my garden, using that flower like it was a skinny. She approaches us with a big smile,giving my mom a therapist hug and then turns to me as she says to mymother, "Mrs Carr, is this your daughter? I have so longed to meet her."Playing along, I introduce myself as Patricia O'Hara. The three of usthen click along through the lobby in our heels to catch an elevator upto her floor. In her office, she guides to a couch where for the firsttime I sit with my mom as mother and daughter.Dr. Carr asks if she can take a picture of the two of us. We both agree.As she pulls out her camera, she slips into therapist mode asking me howI feel, am I apprehensive about flying and meeting my dad as hisdaughter. All big questions that we spend a few minutes discussing as mymom listens on in silence. She then asks me about my first period. I donot know quite what to say. She turns to mom. My mom tells her that I amwearing a pad and that I have tampons along if my flow increases."Patricia," Dr. Carr asks, "Do you understand why we have requested youto wear.
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