He was talking about his girlfriend's brother and said, "She's got the full shilling but her brother's acoustic!" What 'yer mean, he plays the acoustic guitar?" asked Sparky Marks."Nah! He couldn't even play a bloody kazoo, he's acoustic." Toddy went on to explain who his girlfriend's brother could be compared with. "He's like that bloke in that film, the one with that bloke who was in that western film, set in New York."This sent us off in many directions, including Clint Eastwood in 'Coogan's Bluff', and the TV series 'McCloud', and it was about an hour later when we finally came up with the 'western' film set in New York was 'Midnight Cowboy'! From there it was a small step to Dustin Hoffman in 'Rain man', Toddy meant autistic!The trouble is now that whenever I mean to say autistic I say acoustic, and people look at me like I'm stupid.The other Toddism that I sometimes fall into is 'Acapulco'. Once again it came from Toddy, describing a pub he had visited over Watford way, which. "Did you get you husband to give you a massage?" he asked.Yeah sure, but he doesn't seem to have your touch," she said with a rue smile, "could you please." Sure sit down," he said and got behind her. Luckily the office was deserted. His fingers worked over her neck and slowly he lessened her pain."How's that?" he asked."Much better," she said, "but it's still there." I need to get further down your back," he said, "can you undo your zip a bit." Well I don't know," she said, he didn't say anything, just left it to her."Ok, but we'll have to be quick," she decided and undid her dress zip so he could see her substantial bra strap. His hands moved up and down her exposed back and he faded the pain completely."Oh that's heaven," she sighed, "you sure have magic hands Danny." Oh it's nothing really," he tried to look embarrassed."Danny," she said, it was Saturday morning and he had answered his home phone."Yes, who's that?" he said, knowing full well who it was, for he had started her pain.
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