.I can tell you how it feelsin multitudes of waysTo not wanna be realto want to fade awayI can show you howmy inner being drownedFrom being in this townfrom staying on the groundEveryones an alpha dogalways looking down Never eat the scrapsjust leave them on the groundI often danced to soundslike no one was aroundTo noise they couldn't heartill no one was around..My mind keeps forgettinghow to breathe rightFor while others air goIn and outout and inIn a simple function of normalityMine falters a lot of the timeTurns my voice into wheezing gaspsThe dead could speak better than IMy lungs squish into a tiny boxIn the center of my chestCausing a volcanic eruption of painIt is a very similar feeling to my heartWhich thumps and clamorsAt a speed unknown to humanityThe pace of a jackrabbit heartwhose cotton little tail's on fireUntil it simply feels like itFrozen insidesBrown eyes mixed with sadEmpty heartFast mindEmotions running fastSensitive soulBlank stareDepression all aroundTear. After a few seconds, so did I. But I was thinking.I knew lots of little private places in the area around town where we could probably find privacy. Places I used to go when I wanted to be alone. Clearings in the woods. Shady spots by the river. Picnic grounds and piney hollows. I had shown most of them to Lonnie already in the previous weeks. All of them had an extra element of risk involved in using them though. It was mid-August and people could turn up anywhere, at any time. I used to be disturbed by them all the time, when all I wanted was time alone. Except for Sundays that is. Especially in the mornings. Half the town would be in church and the other half would be either still in bed, or at home sipping coffee. Still, people often fished early, there were lunch time picnics and the few kids in town who got chased out of the house to "go play outside." Then I had an idea and quit thinking. I started back to work in earnest.At the next "pause" I said, "How about here?" Here?".
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