” Elise turned to everyone else. “And while he’s talking, I know plenty of cows that need some care.”The girls all groaned in anguish but obediently followed Betty outside, along with the pillar men. Dr. Lawrence and I moved to the living room. He pulled out a pad of paper and a voice recorder, first stating our names and the date for the record.“So, I’d like you to start from the beginning.”“Well it first occurred in July with my cat, Momo. I woke up one morning to find her lying on top of me, having turned into a human.”“Before then, how long had you had Momo?”“Two years, I think. We had been living in my former home.”“Before she transformed, did any unusual occurrences happen? Changes in health, environment, diet?”“No, nothing. Until that point, my life was completely normal. Believe me, I’ve lived a very dull life. That was the first truly weird thing to ever happen to me.”“So, animals have never behaved strangely around you or anything like that?”“No, nothing.”“What was Momo’s. She started the car and drove out of the car park at speed, crashing over the speed bumps, and knocking the breath out of me. I stayed put even when she started driving fast. ‘OK, Steve. You can sit up now.’ I pushed her coat off me and sat up. We were on the local motorway doing nearly ninety miles an hour. ‘What is all this about, Heather?’ ‘It is about saving your job, your career and us. You sent my valentine to everyone in the company. It is obviously from you to me. You even included a facsimile signature. The verses inside refer to me. And my anatomy. In detail. Don’t they?’ I thought about the care I had put into that Valentine message. Ouch! I had been explicit about the parts I liked and why. ‘Uh… Yes.’ ‘Uh… Yes? You know damn well they do. You only sent it…’ She looked at the dashboard clock. ‘…eighteen minutes ago. To two hundred people who are still choking on their coffee about it.’ ‘Sorry.’ ‘Sorry? You are sorry? Sorry doesn’t begin to cover it. I am saving your arse.
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