I'm eighteen, they could have just let me. But even if they did where the hell would I go? I can't afford an apartment, or a house. Fuck."William was pulled out of his thoughts my his mother happily squealing. "We're here! Look at the house honey! It looks even better than before!"Indeed up ahead on the road stood a beautiful house, more of a mansion really, with a grey roof and white walls leading down to lush grass and greenery. Most of the view of the property, and the yard especially, were blocked by tall shrubbery. As they pulled in the driveway they saw the moving companies trucks already standing outside, the employees already almost finished unloading everything that was brought."Mom insisted we bring 'Just the essentials' I wonder what pretentious interior designer they hired to buy all of the new furniture. I hope my rooms bigger at least. Actually wait, this might be a good thing! I might be able to throw a party in this house, our old one was way too small. Maybe I can. Another attempt resulted in "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!So they tried "Nuts and Butts" - no way."Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good."Loons and Moons" - forget it.Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with this:"Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Specializing in Odds and Ends."Everybody loved it.The following are totally offensive and tasteless humor. Caution is advised.1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Rick woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it home safely.3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.4. "IT'S A BOY" I shouted, "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY". And with tears streaming down Tom's face he swore he'd never visit another Thai Brothel.5. Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver..
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