Why don’t you look out your window?”“Why the fuck-”Welp, my hyper-religious parents were right all along. Hell was real, I was a sinner, and now I was being punished. Outside my window was a sea of lava, and billions of naked bodies writhing in torturous…wait, no, they’re all fucking; not so bad after all. I didn’t recall dying last night, but given how much alcohol I remember consuming, my death was probably embarrassing as fuck, and posted on LiveLeak by now. I hope I didn’t shit myself. I definitely shit myself. “Satan,” I said to the beautiful queen of evil, “did I shit myself when I died? Because I have this problem where if I drink too much-”“You’re not dead, Brian.” Satan laughed, “you’re just visiting, like your sister. And call me Lucy.”“Right,” I said, snapping my fingers, “you want me to fuck my sister. I’m not doing it.”“It’ll only be for a little-”“I. Am. Not. Having. Sex. With. My. Sister!” I yelled. “End of story! Now take me back to my apartment so I can smoke my bowl. With no female attention the night had gotten boring so i called it a night, thankful that i only had a short walk home in my intoxicated state.About 2 minutes into my journey i passed Debbie's apartment, sadly no lights were on so i assumed she wasnt home, i carried on my way and soon found myself in my bed. Soon my mind drifted to thoughts of Debbie, what i would have done to her, what she would have done to me, i reached down and started working on an erection when my phone buzzed."i'm sorry i had to leave, ****** just got jealous of me being near you, being your ex and all xxx" it said, clearly from Debbie.I quickly snatched up my phone and replied "i guess your not with her now? xxx" no, i'm on my way home form the south side xxx" she repliedmy brain was racing, after the disapointment of earlier i still had a chance and i was gonna take it. "come by King Street then, We can give her something to be jealous of xxx" i replied, desperate for a reply.minutes passed and she didnt.
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