What I didn’t know at that time was that my neighbor was a registered and convicted sex offender. He was also mildly schizophrenic. Because of his record, the police picked him up as one of their first suspects. I think they were pretty rough on him and he confessed almost immediately. The next day, at his arraignment, the public defender was successful in getting the confession quashed and the judge ordered him released on his own recognizance. I had hardly been at home at all during the four days since it happened, searching the streets and finally being interviewed by the police. I had just walked in the door from the arraignment, seething and planning what I could do, when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and it was him! ‘Mr. Edwards, I just wanted you to know…’ was as far as he got when I hit him square in the face with all my might. Being one step above him, it was a mighty blow. He fell backwards onto the porch, his head making a sickening sound when it hit the concrete.. 'Mum: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on Daddy's lap.'...There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'This one is compliments of RrroscoA salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in progress. A sign read: "Don't miss Jock TheAmazing Scotsman".The salesman bought a ticket and sat down.There, on centre stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped out a huge willy and smashed all three.
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