Picture of carousel sign. I cannot bear it, I cannot bear it, I cannot bear it! When the feelings rise up in me, I try. I do try. Mama sees the truth. She gives me a look. I tremble so, for fear she will punish me again, and the feelings come rising up — choking me. I try to look down, modestly, to still my beating heart, to stop the flushed blood rising in my cheeks. I cannot bear it! I get thrown into such a hysteria. I had the misfortune to be born on St. Valentine’s Day — 1844. A well reared and educated girl, I of course do not look for any foolish lace and paper cards decorated with cupids and the like on The Day. I content myself with a small family party to which Mama may invite one or two of my friends from school. I just know she will invite Clara Macready again this year. Clara will be simpering with the ring on her finger — although I own to you, that I have never seen such a small stone in my life. I do not know what she thinks she has to boast of in such a trumpery. I stopped, finger hovering over the button. No, I couldn't call Margay. Margay wouldn't understand. She wouldn't understand me screwing one of my son's classmates, a man fifteen years my junior. She wouldn't understand me driving my children away and ruining their lives. She wouldn't understand that, as much as I was crying over Jeff and Jenny, I was also crying over Mike and the fact that there could never be a relationship between us."Lynne."I looked up to see Mike framed in the doorway to my room, still in his sweatpants but with the addition of a tee. "I've made us some breakfast." He held out his hand. "Come on. You'll feel better with a little something in you."I didn't want to feel better, but I had to admit that scrambled eggs and toast helped blunt the rough edges of my emotions, at least a little bit. "Thanks," I said around a watery smile as Mike gathered the dishes."Glad to." He smiled. "You'd do the same for me." He paused, plates stacked in one hand, juice glasses in the.
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