"Oh please, stay with us; we are going to the Vancouver too. We will need to go as well. You will ride with us?"How do you get out of that? This lady was strange and was attaching herself to me, along with seventeen kids. Oh my.My ex was an ex partially because I wanted kids and she didn't. Mostly she was an ex because I was a lowly teacher while her now current significant other seemed to have a bunch of bucks. I really didn't care, as it had been eight years since we split. Not a vicious split, just a "See ya, I can do better than you" from her. Since then I had nearly given up on dating. It was too disappointing, especially with my ED problem."Um, ah, Okay. I guess we could all go together. Can I help get your stuff together so we can leave?" I asked standing in front of her while she still clutched my hand.She stood, still holding on, began buttoning her blouse with one hand then spoke to her kids in French. Whatever she said was effective. All of the ones of at least five and up. During that time, Ellie's romantic attachment to me never faltered. She remained as enthusiastic a lover as she had been, on that first amazing afternoon when she'd persuaded me to take her home to see my grandfather's gardens, and the pond, in daylight.I remained full of secret fears and worries. They were the same ones I'd been nursing from the start. I had acquired growing confidence that I wasn't simply going to "change back" into an old man, without warning. But I remained bedeviled by feelings that -- somehow -- a day of reckoning would surely come.And now I was fretting anew about what my duties were, toward Ellie. That we had embarked on a permanent life together wasn't the subject of any doubt, in my mind or in hers. We were together, and blissfully so. But could I simply continue to enjoy this young woman, body and soul, and never confess to her that she was now the life partner of a man whose days might, indeed, be numbered?Would we marry? Would we have children? If we.
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