“You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I’m on the left ... With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”“Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?... “What ... You’re coming empty handed?”Wise Italian GrandfatherWhy Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the family.An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I wan’ you lissina me. I wan’ you to take-a my chrome plated... 38 revolver so you will always remember me.”“But grandpa, I really don’t like guns ... How about you leave me your Rolex watch instead?”“You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos.”“Somma day you gonna. She was uneasy at how demonstrative the two of them were together, holding hands, giggling and smooching, oblivious to Maria's furtive glances. Much to her surprise she felt a pang of envy, but quickly dispelled the thought.Before long they had excused themselves from Maria's company and headed upstairs.Maria stayed downstairs but soon her curiosity got the better of her and she stole upstairs as well. She tiptoed up to Luke's room and put her ear on the door, she didn't like eavesdropping but the temptation was too much for her to resist. Soon she could hear heavy breathing and panting and before long the unmistakable, rhythmic slapping of flesh on flesh. She covered her hand with her mouth in shock. Suddenly she could hear Angela moaning, softly at first but quickly escalating to vociferousness. To her further incredulity Maria felt turned-on, her first impulse was to reach for her rapidly moistening vagina but she quickly restrained herself. Angela became more vocal.Maria couldn't.
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