She loves me, she loves me not, and I'm all out of petals.And I fight with it the rest of the day. Should I talk to her? But once I do... I'll know, and it has the potential to hurt. A high potential. And I can take physical pain, I can ignore that, but I can't take the emotional pain. I can't fight it. And I'll do anything to avoid it. But I can't keep going like this, my mom's word burrowing deeper into my brain, sowing these pessimistic seeds of doubt. And Carly notices my long looks at her, she senses that I'm almost constantly on the verge of saying something to her. But I can't.I want to, but I can't.Even as we head to bed, I'm fighting myself. Should I? Shouldn't I? Even as I slip under my blanket, even though I'm wide awake, fidgeting restlessly.I toy with a loose thread on the blanket, chewing my lip. No. I have to do it now. I stand, the blanket slipping from me. No. I can't. What if- I shake my head.I have to.I take a deep breath, pausing at the foot of the stairs. Once I. The intimacy of the moment is shattered, unsurprisingly by Sylvia. “That’s enough thank you. No kissing. I didn’t say you could kiss did I?” I notice that Pippa is no longer in the room, she must have gone to freshen up. I kiss Evie’s forhead and withdraw myself from her, my semen trickling out of her as I do. I go to retrieve my clothes, my path suddenly blocked by Sylvia. “Did you enjoy that, Robert? It certainly looked that way. “Evie is beautiful. It was wonderful. Thank you.” I bend to pick up my garments, Sylvie’s hand pushes against my chest, blocking me. “Where do you think you are going, Robert? Your afternoon isn’t over yet.” I stare at her, puzzled, nonplussed. As if on queue Pipa reappears, naked. I say naked. Naked except for a striking black shiny strap-on. The penny drops. “Oh no, no. Absolutely no fucking chance, Sylvia.” “Well, how can I put this. Be fucked, or you’re fucked. Without Pippa’s contacts, well you’re screwed anyway. Pardon my crudity.” A.
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