My husband Ron is a cowboy wanna be - he looks the part but he's never riden a horse and I seriously doubt has ever eaten a bowl of chili. I was on the phone in the kitchen on some idle Tuesday night talking with Donna about the food drive we're trying to organize when Ron walks through the living room wearing a blue dress. My reaction, as yours would have been was, 'What the fuck did I just see?"So I did what you probably would have done... pretended I didn't see anything at all. After I got off the phone, he came into the kitchen and poured us each a glass of wine - because that always makes things go smoother - while we talked at the dining table. He asked me to not talk for a while and just listen to what he had to say with an open mind. He's my husband and provider for over twenty years so I agreed. In a calm voice he took the next hour to explain that he was done fucking women, 'no more pussy' as he put it. He asked that I put him in forever chastity and have sex with other men. They were tiny plates and we skipped dessert.Perhaps ‘skipped’ isn’t the operative word. ‘Took home’ is probably a better descriptor. Mini Lemon & Thyme Bundt Cake. Apple & Hazelnut Ciambella.I hugged the dessert boxes like twin babies. It was about 10:30, starting to cool off.Call it cold. Calculated. I call it savvy. Gertie and I orchestrated the Genius Award publicity to include Euforia. Example:“Vanessa Henderson, owner of the wildly popular Brookside eatery, Euforia, was awarded...”Matt fobbed the Audi doors to unlock them from around 15 feet away. A chirp, a click, lights flashed. And then Matt hip-checked me to the floor, “Down!”A gunshot registered at the same time that the backdoor window of his car exploded above my head.Matt yelled to his left, back in the direction we’d come, “I’m a cop!”Still on my stomach, I stretched up and opened the driver’s door. The interior light flooded over me and a second shot shattered that window. Staying as low as possible, I reached over.
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