" I figured I could always find another place to live. "But . . . what can I say? It's where I grew up. It was my home." "I care about you, you know." Her voice was a little unsteady. "If you're going to leave, you should have the decency to tell me." "Callie, I'm not leaving, at least not yet." I put my hands on her shoulders. "Please, I came out here to think. Don't guilt trip me into anything." "I'd never do that!" Her eyes flashed with anger. "You can't stay unless you choose to. I don't want you stay unless you decide you want it for yourself." She stopped for a moment and when she continued her voice was tight. "I made that mistake before, trying to keep someone with me. I won't do it again no matter how much I want you." "Callie, I'm sorry. I'm seriously considering staying. And you'd be a big part of why I'd stay." "Really?" She looked wary, but hopeful. I took her hands in mine and pulled her to me. "Really. You're the best thing about this place. There are times, I. They whispered to each and other andlaughed out loud at certain points but I tried to ignore it. After a fewminutes they both stood up. They watched me walk. Abby said I wouldgetused to walking in high heels and that the ones I had on were reallysmall compared to the heels they would train me to wear later. Later? Ithought. Finally Madison gave me permission to stop."You did a great job on your assignment little sissy Megan. I'm so proudof you," she told me in mocking tones.I felt a thrill of relief. What was wrong with me? I actually felthappy to get my little sister's approval and didn't even object to hercalling me a sissy. Or calling me by a girl name. Or making me do anassignment like I was a student of hers. Or a child. Or a girl. I toldmyself to stand up to her but something inside of me was afraid. Thepanties did feel a little good but I would never admit it. They made mefeel tingly down there. I don't know. They made me feel pretty. I feltmyself being.
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