He warned him that if he kept making a big deal of it, Rose would stay with him. This normally would have lead to marital problems, but apparently Ron had been sleeping on the couch - metaphorically, he had his own separate room by this point - for the past decade, so unless Hermione finally kicked him out there wasn't really any more damage that could have been done to the relationship. Back to the situation at hand, Harry's words had the effect that he wanted. Lily stopped crying and made a face at him, “Eww daddy! Why would you hurt that twat? I’m dating Harry Lee.” Lee was a sixth year student, the main reason that she went out with him was that he was called Harry and he looked like her father. She had a thing about dating boys who looked like her father, the matching name only helped, not that she was consciously aware it. “Besides, if Scorpius was sucking face with Abe Thomas any harder we'd be able to hear it from here." Harry blinked. He hadn't even considered Scorpius was. What was he doing? After I found his collection of forty or fifty, I was not only furious, I began to feel really spiteful and mean. I'm not usually like that, but today was special. I thought about getting dressed collecting all my stuff, my term paper on Elizabeth Gurley Flynn, the formula that Amy had given me to make semen taste good, all of my stuff, and heading right back to Ida's house on the other side of town. But I thought: "Okay, Donnie, you fucker, I'm going to leave something for you..." I walked into his grungy kitchen, with a week's worth of dishes piled everywhere. I opened the refrigerator. I ate a bunch of his food, but that's not what I was looking for. I found what I was looking for. It was big, but not too big. It was cold, so I put it in the oven for five minutes to warm it up. What was it? A nice fat cucumber, about as big around as any penis that has ever been in me, but that was fine with me. When it was warmed up, I took it, and the baby oil, to his bed. I.
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