Chills run down my spine as he walks past me and I return my gaze to the TV.Minutes later as I’m scanning the bar, I catch that he seems to be staring at me from his seat at a table past the other end of the bar. “It’s your imagination,” I tell myself.*I’ve had several more drinks. “I’m running to the restroom.”“Want me to join?” asks Heather.“No, I’ll be back.” I never quite understood why women had to go in packs.As I walk my way through the still rather empty bar, I see him looking at me as I walk by. Once again, I think nothing of it. As I exit the bathroom, I seem to look straight up and across the room, locking eyes with him. Chills course my body once more. With a little bit of liquid encouragement, I strut my stuff as best as I can as I walk by, feeling his eyes follow me. When I’m right next to him, I give him a sweet smile.I get back to my family and briefly mumble, “I’m stepping outside”, quickly grabbing my pack of cigarettes out of my purse; another habit I have that. When I logged in, I found Nick online. After a brief discussion of our similar agendas, he proposed we meet up… I’d been given a second chance, and I wasn’t going to screw this one up. I quickly agreed, and we decided his place would be our best option. I was on autopilot from that moment on. With my last failure on replay in my mind, I kept moving toward my goal, knowing that any hesitation would give me an opportunity to back out. I showered, threw on clothes, and jumped in my truck. White knuckles gripped my steering wheel for the longest thirty minutes of my life. When I pulled into his driveway, my heart was already racing—begging me to turn around—but I parked and approached Nick’s door. Nick greeted me at the door wearing a white t-shirt and maroon sweatpants, which was probably much more practical attire than my jeans. After a brief greeting that I was too nervous to remember, he led me to his living room. We sat at opposite ends of his couch, with his laptop on the coffee.
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