What had happened, what he had done. I had to say thank you to him, to reward him for his actions. I don’t think he ever expected or wanted any reward, it was what he did for those he loved but I needed to reward him, understand? I needed him to accept my reward as well and, as I had only one real way to reward him (as Lena said, we females have been doing this since time began), I wanted him badly. That sounds silly really, I wanted him badly because I wanted to reward him. The silly thing is, I suppose, that he didn’t expect any reward in any sense of the word. All I knew was that, as I lay there in his arms, gazing into his arms, I felt safe and powerfully sexy. I NEEDED HIM. This is all very confusing and it doesn’t read very well but it was how I felt. I also needed to experiment, no not in that way, but to find out whether I was able to put this masochistic/sadistic thing behind me. Could I make love with someone I loved and not want him or her to hurt me, or to hurt them. I. I don't say anything; I just look at her with the same humiliation and embarrassment I always feel when this comes up. "You do want the appointment right"? She says. "I mean it is time for you to get one of his examinations, it's been six months." My face flushes, "yes mom" I say, "I want the appointment" I stare down at the floor, embarrassed. "Ok" she says, "tomorrow after school, the usual five o'clock, ill drop you off"Once every six months I would receive a very special physical examination from Dr White. I had started getting these exams when I was twelve years old. I was now fourteen, and the exams had changed a lot from when I first started receiving them. What would occur during my check-ups was a secret between my mother and me. She understood about it, and she knew I might go for the examinations with or without her approval.It all started once while receiving a physical. Dr. White had me on his table, shirtless, and his attractive nurse was assisting. He had my briefs.
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