After a more few weeks Icould actually give a bit of swish to my skirt as I walked with myfingers relaxed and my wrists bent. Moving like a girl still tookconcentration and effort, but I was getting better. It was wonderfulhaving this private secret at home and pretending to be Mom?s adoringdaughter.Then one night I woke from a frightening dream. I had been running downthe street being chased by boys who kept shouting about how I looked justlike fairy girl and ... When my head cleared I decided this had gone toofar and I resolved to stop dressing like a girl. Even though I only didit at home I had a sense that this was dangerous, and bad things wouldhappen if anyone found out. What if we accidentally left the frontcurtains open or someone came to the door? The next few evenings Istayed in my boy clothes after school, and wore boy pajamas to bed. Momnoticed, but did not say anything.Talking about personal thoughts was still very difficult for me. Mom didnot push the issue, but I. Meri maa nei mujhe ishara kiya aur upar ke kamre mei ja kar kapde badalne ko kaha. Mein upar chatt par chali gayi aur darwaja band karke kamre ki light on karke jaise hi meine apni t-shirt uttar kar fainki, deewar ke pichche se koi nikal kar mere samne aa kar khada ho gya. Ye Rohit tha. Use dekh kar mere hosh udd gaye par fir khud ko sambhal kar paas padi chaadar se apni bra ko dhakte hue meine use kaha, “Tu yaha kar rha hai?”“Kuch nahi meri jaan. Tujhe milne ko aaya hu. Aur kyat u ye chaddar se khud ko dhak rahi hai. Jara mujhe bhi to dekh lene de apni ye katil jawani.” Usne jawab diya.“tu jata hai yaha se ya mein maa ko bulau.” Meine kaha.“Aaye haye… kaise nakhre kar rhi hai. Wo din bhool gayi, jab har doosre din khud hi mere samne nangi ho jaya karti thi.” Usne badi besharmi se kaha. Mein kuch bolti isse phle wo mere paas aa gya aur mere kandhe par padi chaddar utha kar ek taraf faink di. Fir bola, “Dekh Nancy, ek baar tujhe nangi dekh lu to chala jaunga. Aur tujhe wada hai ke.
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