I didn'tconfide in anyone, not even in Tam. It was a secret floating in theundercurrents that made me smile to myself each time it bobbed to thesurface in my brain. In a way I felt Tam had to sense it and maybe sheknew it was time and she was ready, too. I hoped. I prayed to whateverdark Satanic forces were out there. Tamara, I'm so yours, I said tomyself in so many ways, many not even having to do with language.And so for that meaningful night, I wanted Tam to see me in a certainlight so she'd want me as much as I wanted her.Which is why I had star barrettes in my black hair, plus two silverpiercings in one ear, three in the other. I wore a chain around my neck,my trademark bangly-dangly, beaded charm bracelets on my left wrist, andan extremely girly black mesh dress that came down to my knees and hadthese silvery glitter stars all over; it even had a pink ribbon and bowon the front, right below my chest. I wore my favorite clunky-heeled,charcoal mary janes. I also had a black. . seven, no ... eight months since the last time." Try again, Charlie."She let me off the hook after that and contented herself with humorous accounts of her love life over the slightly under a year since she found her husband in their bed with their neighbour."I don't know how you can be so ... sanguine ... about it, Elaine." No point in letting it get me down. I was pretty sure he was cheating, I just hadn't worked out how. Good riddance. At least we didn't have any kids to mess up in the divorce. I'm just having fun for a bit."The day before she left ... she wanted to be at home for a New Year's party with her best friend and their circle ... I was sitting in my lounge, listening to Enya and she came in with a glass of wine in one hand and a whisky in the other."Glen Grant," she said, handing it to me, then plunking herself down in my lap. "I really do love you, Charlie, and I want to see you happy. You need to try at least once more with 'Barbie'."I cuddled my sister, thinking.
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