Maybe, she ruminates, this is why she stays in the sun, to be reminded of the passing time. Perhaps this is the reason why he stays in the shade. People have to deal with things in their own way. In the other world, when they had gone their separate ways, he had told she would always have a part of him. She had often wondered what he had really meant by this, aside from the trashy, airport novel connotations it could have so easily carried. Sometimes she felt as though she was under a spell of some making, and imagined him in his darkened cell, candles burning, at a makeshift altar carrying out the ritual that seemed to tattoo him on her heart. Sometimes she imagined that he had approached a casting agency and hired actors of his own age and bearing his resemblance. He would instruct these people to silently invade her life, as if extras in an art-house film by some contemporary director, as the fellow on the tube, the man who takes dog out Sundays, the guy in front of her in the. ‘Marcus! Don’t go there.’ Lilly’s venom was surfacing. Marcus turned his face to me smiled then sneered. I was transfixed his eyes were so filled with pain. Pain he hid well. It was momentarily exposed then slid behind his veiled eyes. ‘Tell them why? I want you to tell them about me. Now!’ His voice was level but it was cutting. ‘Please Marcus we can work this out alone.’ Lilly sounded filled with despair. I was sitting there stunned. I had seen this man’s face on television many times. What could be so terrible for this shouting? They were struggling with each other. You could see them fighting to reveal what this was. They were going to reveal it there wasn’t a doubt. That’s when I heard something I audibly gasped. ‘Tell them I am gay Lilly! Fucking tell them I don’t make love with women!’ Marcus’ was crying. Lilly moaned so loudly that I thought her soul was tearing out of her body. My head was spinning. I couldn’t comprehend that he was gay. I mean he was always courting some.
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