I can hear you moaning. I’m going out of my mind here Ari. Don’t you know what you do to me?’ He looks at me with a wanting so real that I feel it tugging at my heart. ‘Josh, we’re friends. Just friends.’ ‘You’re always just friends with people…Take a chance on me.’ Before I can respond he is there, his lips are there, pressed against mine. The kiss is soft, but urgent at the same time. I feel his strong, rough hands moving up the length of my arms to my shoulders, and then they are gently tugging me closer to him, until our bodies are melded together. His mouth is tastes sweet, his hands are scorching in the heat of the room, the heat of the moment. I find my resistance crumbling, if it was really there to begin with, as he pulls me down to lay beside him on the covers of my queen-sized bed. ‘I want you Ari. I have wanted you for so long.’ His words are whispered, his eyes are hooded with desire. He rolls on top of me and manages to get my shirt off, throws it in a crumpled ball. I also tried to balance my business and home life making the children secure in the knowledge that they were my number one priority and that I loved them very deeply. They knew that I was hurting and I made sure how much they understood how I loved their mother and how much she loved them, as I said she had made a tape before she died, and it was always available to them when ever and however often they needed to watch it. She was to be an integral part of their life, but they needed to be secure in her love and not let her death stop them developing as rounded human beings. This was sound advice from a caring and devoted parent, however as you will have seen, I had been almost incapable of following my own counsel during that period. Miles and Helen, Jane’s parents and my own had been fantastic support but until the day when I had the vision about being with Jane again and the chance meeting with Rachel at the dinner party in February I had not seen my need to move on. I had just.
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